reading time: 2 minutes
The privileges of living in a country which never had a sense of identity that was not outrageously fragile are next to none. But in times like these this is ironically a better place to be than somewhere nicer. The system failed you and, in turn, you failed the system. You are a bumbling idiot, a jack of many trades, but a master of none. Still, you are less likely to die or put your most loved ones in danger. You might complain about there not having been dry yeast for a month, you might run out of your preferred caffeinated poison during those three-day-curfew weekends. And there is plenty of time to study what went wrong at the start of the year, the whole of the year before…eventually your entire life. You might make plans or just decide not to learn anything from it because this is not anybody’s default modus operandi and it never will be.
The above has been my experience and things are slowly calming down, as far as the first wave of Covid-19 is considered. In a way, it was akin to being enclosed in a nice cocoon, minus the metamorphosis. While I spent the days cheering for my relative’s wife working at the ICU, intubating patients while wearing a suit resembling what the Moon landers had on, I did nothing much myself. I went about polishing my skills when it comes to insect photography. But seriously, that’s it. No epiphanies and whatchamacallits here.
I don’t think that most others have learned anything, either. But that’s none of my business.
And I kind of like it that way. The last couple of months of 2019 were hectic, stressful and it was impossible to continue without a proper break. From everything.
The coming weeks will, inevitably, be a return to normal life. And to me, that means cringe. Cringe 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Everything that I had successfully delayed, everything that was delayed by the powers that be is about to strike again, with brute force. The current financial situation worldwide is, in a way, welcome – it will serve as a wake-up call after hitting the snooze button for so long that it’s nearly embarrassing. Additional cringe, for good measure.
Schedules have never been my strong suit, but I sort of created a cringe-schedule for the week of May 11th. There is a free spot for Sunday, but even the God took a break after he created the Universe to amuse himself, right? So, why not have a God delusion and enjoy a lazy Sunday after re-creating the cringe-verse?
I’m ready, or something. Bring on the cringe!
not to be confused with Enigma’s 1994 chart-topping hit above